what is matrescence and patrescence?
There's a word for what happens when you become a parent — Matrescence and Patrescence — the psychological, hormonal, and identity shift of becoming a parent, as significant a developmental transition as adolescence, but one almost nobody prepares you for. You're not just adjusting to a new baby; you're becoming a new version of yourself.
Many people in this stage carry some combination of grief for their pre-baby identity, anxiety or intrusive thoughts they weren't expecting, a changing relationship with themselves, or a sense of feeling like a stranger to themselves — and none of that means something is wrong with you. It means you're in the middle of one of the biggest transitions a person can go through.
therapy for new parents
I work with men and women moving through the journey of pregnancy, postpartum, and the months and years of recalibration that follow — including perinatal and postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, identity and grief work, body image through pregnancy and beyond, and the relationship shifts that come with new parenthood. I don't treat this change as something to just get through until you're "back to normal" — there's no back, only forward, into whoever you're becoming next.